Sitting and daydreaming, basking in the warmth and gaze of sun’s smile, contemplating trying something new. Something fresh. Something fun and fanciful! The mere novelty and wonderment of the intriguing notion seemingly dominate any arousal of angst trying to appear from the questioning of difficulty and the examination of experience and expertise.
The anticipation slowly turned preoccupation, finally divulges the hankering to bid and conquer. Exhilaration erupts, emancipating this elusive soul.
A smile beams, then suddenly yearns for the quickest, faintest hint of approval from the auditory receptive forces at hand, or shall I say at ear. An awkward silence settles, pulsating and pulverizing, in mere seconds, any remnant of confidence once existent. Then, the oh, too familiar words resonate, as if on perpetual repeat.
“You can’t do that!”
“What are you talking about, ‘I can’t! do that’?”
“You heard me! You can’t do it”
“Really? Are you seriously saying I can’t do it?”
“Oh, yeah! Just wait; you’ll see! And you’ll even look like a fool just for trying!”
The head heavies, the smile sinks, and the eyelids lower. Another idea eradicated, opportunity oppressed. Words not necessarily spoken, but message clearly and positively, or not so much, perceived.
Who does this? Who, in their right mind, or left for the analytical, crushes whimsical desires like this? The start of an answer to my own pondering thought begins to flow and fester…then as if truly jotting down names, I literally see and feel myself pick up a pen and notebook and ink one name as big and bold as could possibly fit on the page…ME!!!
Tracing the stick-like lines that carve each definitive letter, the speed and pressure of each intentional stroke infinitely increases, until finally, it hits me.
THE ONLY PERSON THAT CAN TELL ME, ‘I CAN’T.’ IS ME!!!
Of course, other people can and very much are guilty as well, cleaving the soul subaqueous, leaving long lasting, wide-open,gaping wounds. However, before the blaming game starts and a list even remotely begins, consider this simplistic, yet complex, suggestion. Wounds, no matter how severe or painful, are designed to heal. That’s God’s ingenuity working in us!
Childlike though, most find it absurdly interesting to run a seemingly innocent little finger back and forth over the peculiar surface, deceivingly nursing what looks and feels like an awful deformity compared to the smooth, soft, once supple skin that actually and quite literally is healing from the inside out. Insistently forcing things along, a flick of the edges, a lifting and pulling away ever so gently and carefully, all the while hoping to come away unscathed, yet knowing the absolute contrary from former experience.
Then in a flash of a moment, a flicker of the eye, a piercing pain shoots and a droplet of red bursts forth, starting yet another cycle of healing, prolonging the vanishment of the blemishing ulcer. If bothered superfluously, opening and reopening, or exiguously, derelict of quintessential care, infection settles, the not-so pleasingly describable oozing forth and risking permanent surface scarring!
These hurts carve directly and deeply into the heart, yet the responsibility and care promoting, not hindering, healing falls immediately and comprehensively upon the ‘victim’, not the ‘perpetrator’. Ouch! That’s harsh!
LIFT UP THY HEAD, OH YE GATE, AND LET THE KING OF GLORY COME IN! (Ps 24:7)
Not alone in the least! This responsibility is not a solo act. In fact, it is impossible to do as a solitudinarian. Only by God’s undying and undeniable love and affection, He washes through us with grace and mercies new each and every day, keeping the wound, or shall I say the heart, clean, bringing about perfect conditions for full and complete healing, leaving absolutely no reminding remnant behind.
Think of The Little Engine That Could. This shiny little train had the right idea. Positive attitude and tenaciously repeating, “I think I can! I think I can! I think I can!” A page-turner for both young and old. With every chug, every puff, every chant, hoping, crossing fingers, waiting to see if he really could. And he did! Why? Because he didn’t do it alone. He had a force behind him that would not take failure as an option.
IF YOU THINK YOU CAN, YOU ARE RIGHT! IF YOU THINK YOU CAN’T; YOU ARE ALSO RIGHT!
It’s a simple choice. A no-brainer in God’s eyes, spelled out plain and simple, black and white…
I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH GOD WHO STRENGTHENS ME! Phil 4:13
Poor Little Engine! Someone doubted, telling this sweet, little steamer NO. A contemplating comfort, yet completely contrary. Some versions tell of the Little Engine trying and trying and just plain falling short. Others describe how the Little Engine simply froze in his tracks, gazed at the mountainous view, and foresaw the impossibility. Either way, defeat sat at the feet of this great, unaccomplished feat. Oh, how the internal voices and thoughts must have pinged.
Filtering the oh so familiar feelings, recognizing the extent self inducing personal injury far surpasses the animadversion of others, and then recognizing the God-given freedoms and powers in choice, self-actualization weaving into being.
WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY.
Whether taken from Uncle Ben or from FDR, the nail was hit on the head!
God’s creativity works in mysterious ways, giving seemingly flippant ideas, unheard of to the natural mind. Time after time, choice upon choice, history will repeat itself. It’s the confident, God-reliant, innovative thinkers that accept, cultivate, and refute opposition, willing and obedient to say, “Yes, Lord!” that God searches to and fro for.
Even in the difficulty of this writing, taking days turned weeks, the not-so-normal revelation evolution, questioning and contemplating its existence, forcing to completion, failing with each miserable attempt, until finally, coming back to a much needed reliance, looking up and knowing writing brings me joy, He smiled and spoke clarity and confidence, “Writing brings Me joy!”
Some ideas are merely given for pure, unadulterated enjoyment and fulfillment of the heart’s content, a GIFT given to delight and take pleasure in His goodness, the fullness of His beauty…
DELIGHT YOURSELF IN THE LORD AND HE WILL GIVE YOU THE DESIRES OF YOUR HEART!!! Ps. 37:4
Somehow though, these simple, yet out of one’s league, ideas frequently get tossed to the wayside. Forgotten or just plain disregarded, perhaps due to criticism or disapproval, or worse yet, from the thought of, “I can’t.” Yet, frequently asking and pleading for more, wanting God to call and bring to greater endeavors in Him.
Truly wonder what the little engine did next…the same old daily menial tasks? Or perhaps trusted with more?
IF YOU ARE FAITHFUL IN THE LITTLE THINGS, YOU WILL BE FAITHFUL IN THE LARGER THINGS. Luke 16:10
Disregard not, any thought, idea, or notion that rings difficult, insane, or just not ‘in me’. Lean on God’s understanding, being obedient, refuting any criticism and rejection, whether from another or from within, and faithfully walk out the small things, so God can do a greater work. After all…
THIS LITTLE ENGINE CAN!!!